Sick

this nasty cough have been last for a month and it still in me.
I feel so awful, that I have to take some days off, guilty! Yes, guilty that I stays home can't even do some house work in time. Guilty that I can't do some studying, or read write...
Guilty That I can't use these few days to cheer my boys more. Guilty that I felt so lazy to cooking..........

I know i have been very hard on myself, I can't let myself waste time relaxing,.
But Life only is limit, if i don't squeezing every minute, then I will never achieve what I have to do.

I am already a bit late for higher education, if I don't do self taught as much as I can, then will be late for ever.
If I don't working hard for my family now, then when is the time? When i am 60?

If i don't try the best to bring up my boys now, then when? Not after they 20s, leave home!

If i don't try my best to support my parents now, then when? not after they too old to eat anything, or after they leave this world!

But I just don't have enough time to all the things.

And Now, I am sick, coughing, coughing,.......

Also I have a hard task lying at front of me, made me feel horrible and terrible. I wish this could be a studying problem instead of this.
I pushed myself out of limit, still couldn't achieve anything. God, everyday i have to push out of limit till I win this.

But how I going do this?

I said, I don't believe in God. If there is a God, he deserve to be sacked. If I see him,, I am going kicking his butt!