what is hide behind tipple?

First time had a sip of spirit.
That was awful test! I nearly throw out all my food, i had pour a glass water into my stomach. The next I feel the spirit burns my throat.
I sat down on in front of my desk, think :'that was silly!"
Only a few minutes, I feels the spirit run to my vessels, then to every of my cells. Every where it through, i can see my blood is boiling.

I stand up, went have a bath. Can't believe it! it was , was, was...
Can't find a word for that feeling.

I lying down in the warm water, enjoys the boiling inside my vessels, my cells. Suddenly, I think am I drunk? Is this the drunk feeling?
So I decided to find out. I get out the bath, which I can feel my body one step behind my brain.
I looked at the mirror, asking the one inside it:"Are you still sober? Or Are you drunk?"

I couldn't get to the truth.
I walked round inside the house, feel was so relaxed. But I know my head still working on that drunk or sober business.

I told myself:"I know, this is not drunk, not sober. it is tipsy. If i am drunk i wouldn't care of 'drunk or sober' business. If i am sober, i wouldn't let myself relax, even when i am asleep. All my life I made my tense tight, if i am relaxing, always guilty with it. But now, I am walk round the house, doing nothing, I am not guilty, I am enjoying very much. SO I am tipsy."

The next I figures out why some people love drink, love to get drunk, because this spirit help you drop off the reality, drop off your tense, help you drop off the things you don't want to face it. And without guilty!
So i think response hide behind drunk, then lead to dignity hide behind the drunk.

But I wasn't drunk, from all these think i did I knew i wasn't drunk. I was tipsy!

Tipsy is best,but not for me. Sober is where i belong to.